- That awesome moment when You say something funny in class and everyone laughs at it n then you sit there like a Legend...
- I’m cool but global warming made me hot.
- People say me bad..but trust me I am the worst!
- When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up, it's like having a kidnapper tell you to keep in touch.
- The best thing to do when you are single is to create a loving relationship with yourself before deciding to commit yourself with somebody else.
- I Wish My Parents Were Like Google...They Should Understand Me Even Before I Complete..
- Remembers the day when blackberry and apple were just fruit.
- If one of your life goals is to fight with someone about how to load a dishwasher, may I suggest marriage.
- Don’t like me? Cool, I don’t wake up every day to impress you.
- It would take a pretty stupid robot to replace me.
- If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.
- I'm cool but Summer made me hot!
- For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember.. that’s where the knives are kept.
- Attitude is like underwear - don't show it just wore it.
- looking back & smiling. Its the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.
- The biggest slap to your enemies is your success.
- Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money. :').
- Life is too short and pointless to waste it on hating other people.
- You’ll never find a rainbow if you are looking down.
- People with status don’t need status.
- I hate it when I’m singing along to a song and the artist gets the words wrong
- The Family Reunion went pretty good until they all figured out that I wasn't related to any of them
- Style is a way to say who you are without speaking.
- I Wish My Parents Were Like Google. They Should Understand Me Even Before I Complete.
- Only Love takes you to heaven without the dying part.
- LoVe ThE oNe WhO LoVeS YoU….. nOt ThE oNe WhOm YoU LoVe ??
- There are three sides to an argument – your side, my side and the right side
- Sometimes you succeed…. and other times you learn.
- I’m not online, it’s just an optical illusion.
- In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
- When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it.
- How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.
- If there is a “WILL”, there are 500 relatives.
- That’s the secret to life… replace one worry with another.
- Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
- FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.
- My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
- Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!
- The richer you get, the more expensive happiness becomes
- Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
- Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn’t contain any calories.
- Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter… people the opposite.
- Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.
- If you don’t succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
- The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
- Phones are better than girlfriends, At least we can switch off
- His story is History, My Story is Mystery.
- Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
- Not all men are fools, Some stay bachelor.
- That Awesome Moment When You carry someone's baby & they refuse to go back to their parent's hands just because they like you.
- Don?t choose the one who is beautiful to the world; choose the one who makes your world beautiful.
- Mom always said not to write on walls…but apparently on Facebook you can.
- 2 mints silent for those.. Who seen but didn't like my posts.
- Sometimes, people don’t notice the things we do for them, until we stop doing it.
- Status Unavailable, please try and reload again.
- A wise man can always be found alone.
- I think of dieting, then I eat pizza.
- I took IQ test …..results were negative.
- When you care about someone, their happiness matters more than yours.!!
- Love doesn't need to be perfect.It needs to be true.
- Can’t talk, telepathy only!
- I Like it when people look at my status and say “Impressive”.
- We live in the era of smartphones and stupid peoples.
- Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
- I was born intelligent but education ruined me
- I am still learning.
- Try to solve your problem yourself... Don't Depend on other..!
- Eat…sleep….regret……repeat.
- With love and patience, nothing is impossible.
- Never too busy to be happy :-)
- I love to work for my dreams rather than someone else's.
- Everything I learned I learned from the movies.
- I’m thankful for every moment.
- Smile, it’s free therapy.
- We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like.
- My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
- I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.
- It’s my life, so keep your nose out of it..!
- Happiness is when “Last seen at” changes to “online” and then to “typing..”
- I am not Spiderman Nor Superman However i am superhero for my GF.!
- Dream as if you’ll live forever..Live as if tomorrow is last one.
- Positive anything is better than negative nothing.
- Down to earth but still above you all.
- Humility is attentive patience.
- Every burden is a blessing.
- I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
- Time is money.
- Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.
- You look past my flaws, and call me beautiful.
- Sleep till you’re hungry….Eat till you’re sleepy.
- I'm not lazy, I'm just on my energy saving mode.
- Genius is eternal patience.
- Waiting for WI-FI network.
- Never give up on someone you love. Great things take time.
- A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.
- I hope for nothing. I fear nothing. I am free.Every second I spend with you is like turning dreams true.
- Every second I spend with you is like turning dreams true.
- You cannot open a book without learning something.
- I know i’m “Awesome” So I don’t care about your “Opinion”
- I had to take sick day.I’m sick of those peoples.
- Every love story is beautiful, But ours is My Favorite!
- I'm not failed... my success is just postponed.
- If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
- Even romeo went from being “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated”.
- It's not an attitude, it's the way I am.
- The delights of self-discovery are always available.
- I’m single because I take relationships seriously
- The problem is that you think you’ve time!
- Learning how to learn is life’s most important skill.
- No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.
- Unless your name is GOOGLE, stop acting like you f*cking know everything.
- Don't judge me I was born to be awesome not perfect.
- Silence is a source of great strength.
- Oh so now I'm invisible to you? That's cool. I've always wanted a superpower.
- Sometimes It’s better to be alone…No one can hurt you.
- I never learned from a man who agreed with me.
- Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.
- I'm not single, I'm just romantically challenged.
- A laugh is a smile that bursts.
- Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.
- Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else.
- Thanks to all those who love me, you make me better. Thanks to all those who hate me you make me stronger
- I’m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!
- Never apologize for what you feel. It’s like saying sorry for being real.